Winter wellness

Winter wellness

Winter brings a time to journey INDOORS. We gravitate towards hearty meals and fireplaces and snuggle up under warm blankets. Like hibernation, very little may be visible from the outside, while a lot is quite literally happening inside.

Much like this physical migration into our homes, the journey ‘INDOORS’ into the world of sensations and feelings and meanings that live in our bodies can lead us to discoveries of tremendous ‘warmth’ and ‘heartiness’. We come to realize that a lot is happening on our inside, despite it not being all that visible from the outside. And this so-called ‘inside work’ never fails to bring answers to ‘outside challenges’.

Journaling is one of my favourite avenues into this inner awareness. I was keenly aware of this truth when I had to journey through a ‘winter’ season of cancer treatment. In Nov 2010, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was 42. And devastated. It felt as if I had received a death sentence.

Mine was an early diagnosis. Protocol at the time was surgery to remove the lump. Nothing else. But my state-of-the-art surgeon recommended a relatively new genetic test of my tumour, and I elected to fork out a large sum of money to get this done. The results indicated that my type of cancer had a so-called ‘high risk for a recurrence’ and the treatment protocol suddenly mushroomed into a full course of chemo plus radiation treatment (after the initial surgery).

This treatment spanned the whole of 2011. It started with chemo sessions every 21 days… although many of the treatments were postponed due to low white blood cell counts, and so my schedule of chemo that should have lasted until June 2011 was eventually complete in Sept 2011. And then there was a course of radiation that took a further 6 weeks to complete.

I did a lot of journalling in 2011. It helped me to be PRESENT and regulated through an experience that I had never thought would become mine to navigate.

Each of my chemo sessions involved sitting in a navy blue lazy-boy chair, with a drip in my arm, for about 3 hours. In each session a so-called red devil drip (that kills off cancer cells while also causing hair to fall out) was followed by 2 or 3 clear liquid drips. I survived these sessions by being PRESENT. Laptop on my lap, I would literally write about what was happening around me. The chemo room comprised of a circle of navy-blue lazy boys, each chair holding a patient hooked up to an IV. Friends and family members came and went, often bringing snacks or books or good conversation. There was a vending machine at the door to the room, which I found quite ironic as it dispensed chocolates and chips and various other delights full of msg and other E- additives. I wrote about all these sights and sounds and eventually had a collection of chemo room notes, with titles like Notes from the Chemo Room, Friday the 13^th Chemo, Room-with-a-view Chemo, Dress-Down-Friday Chemo, Bubble Chemo, Audio Chemo, Cooler-box Chemo, and Coffee Shop Chemo. Each note was inspired on the day of a treatment by the real-life scenes playing out around me. It soothed me on my inside when I was able to be so PRESENT through writing about what was playing out around me. It activated a creative force inside me when I found words to describe my experience. I discovered my capacity to carry on, in a place inside of me, and I was so grateful that I found it.

By the end of 2011 my hair was growing again, and I was no longer devastated. I knew that cancer is not a death sentence.

Fast-forward 15 years. On 5 Nov 2025 I went for a routine check-up (an annual event since 2010) and was diagnosed with breast cancer for a 2^nd time. This time I was devastated because I don’t know many people who have survived breast cancer twice!

This journey with Cancer TWO has been different. I had a double mastectomy and reconstruction procedure in January 2026. And I am so grateful that the cancer did not spread to the rest of my body. Chemo and radiation therapy are not indicated now. I am cancer-free again and no longer devastated as I know that cancer can be overcome TWICE!

If journalling helped me to be PRESENT through Cancer ONE, then Somatic Experiencing (SE) (in addition to journaling) has kept me PRESENT in my Cancer TWO story.

In the past 3 years I have been blessed with the opportunity to train as a Somatic Experience Practitioner (SEP). This training has equipped me to assist my clients with this body-based modality. It has also been a personal experiential journey that has taught me to KNOW my own body’s wisdom. It has taught me to be PRESENT in my body. For months before my Cancer TWO diagnosis, I was practicing paying attention to feelings and sensations that I notice in my body and allowing my body to release them. When I was diagnosed on 5 Nov 2025, I fell apart for one day. And then, 24 hours later, I ‘remembered’ my SE journey, and I KNEW I would be OK with whatever I needed to face, a KNOWING that is in my body. I have recovered from my surgery in no less than a miraculous manner, with hardly any pain. I could drive again five days after my surgery and started to work again after 1 month. I could return to my normal exercise routine 8 weeks post-op. And my sense of wellness-in-my-body has been constant throughout this Cancer TWO journey.

As I reflect on my cancer journeys, I know that I found ways to be PRESENT each time, and that this was vital in my healing. In 2011, I journaled and was PRESENT in every word I wrote. In 2026 I am PRESENT when I pay attention to what is happening in my body and feel all the feelings and sensations that show up.

When we find ways to be PRESENT, we truly add beauty to life. May we all find inner warmth and wisdom as we come home to ourselves this winter.