Written by Pauli Geldenhuis
As the vibrant energy of the Western Cape summer softens into the amber hues of autumn, we are reminded of a fundamental truth: change is the only constant. Just as the Helderberg basin prepares for the coming winter rains, our internal landscapes undergo their own shifts. In psychology, we view these transitions not merely as dates on a calendar, but as profound psychological events that test our resilience and capacity for growth.
As the vibrant energy of the Western Cape summer softens into the amber hues of autumn, we are reminded of a fundamental truth: change is the only constant. Just as the Helderberg basin prepares for the coming winter rains, our internal landscapes undergo their own shifts. In psychology, we view these transitions not merely as dates on a calendar, but as profound psychological events that test our resilience and capacity for growth.The Duality of Change
Change often arrives as a “double-edged sword.” On one hand, it offers the positive potential for renewal. Much like the dormant succulent that uses the cooler months to strengthen its root system, human transitions allow us to shed outdated habits and cultivate new perspectives. Change fosters cognitive flexibility—the ability to adapt our thinking to new realities—which is a hallmark of emotional intelligence.
Conversely, change can trigger significant psychological distress. Our nervous systems are evolutionarily wired to seek predictability; when the familiar shifts, it can register as a threat, leading to anxiety, resistance, or a sense of loss. Even positive changes, such as a promotion or a new home, require “acclimatization” that can be taxing on our mental resources.
Your “Change-Proof” Toolkit
When life feels like it’s shifting gears too fast, you need more than just a positive mindset. You need a toolkit that addresses your body, your thoughts, and your actions. Here are three ways to blend Somatic Experiencing (SE), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to stay grounded:
1. The “Check the Facts” Grounding (DBT + SE)
When change hits, our emotions often go into overdrive. DBT teaches us to “Check the Facts”—ask yourself, is my emotional intensity matching the actual reality of the situation? While you do this, use the SE technique of Grounding. Feel the weight of your feet on the floor or your back against the chair. By checking the facts while feeling your physical connection to the earth, you tell your nervous system: “Yes, things are changing, but I am physically held and safe right now.”
2. Expansion Over Resistance (ACT + SE)
In ACT, we talk about Expansion—making room for uncomfortable feelings rather than fighting them. If you feel “tight” or anxious about a transition, don’t try to push it away. Instead, use an SE approach: notice where that tightness is in your body. Imagine breathing into that space, creating a little more room around the sensation. It’s the difference between being a rigid branch that snaps in the wind and a tree that sways with the gust.
3. The “Self-Soothe” Voo (SE + DBT)
DBT is big on Self-Soothing using the five senses to calm the “emotional mind.” You can supercharge this with the SE “Voo” breath. Take a deep breath and, as you exhale, make a long, low-pitched “Vooooo” sound. The vibration mimics a internal massage for your nervous system. Pair this with a sensory comfort—like the scent of your favorite coffee or the feel of a soft jersey—to signal to your brain that it’s okay to settle down.
Change may be inevitable, but we do not have to be swept away by it. By observing the rhythms of nature and listening to the wisdom of our bodies, we can move through the seasons of our lives with grace and groundedness.
If you find yourself struggling with a significant life transition, the team at Paardevlei Therapy Centre is here to support you in finding your equilibrium again.
Reach out if you need a hand navigating your current season.