Figures from Statistics South Africa show that more than 40% of marriages in South Africa end in divorce before couples can celebrate their 10-year anniversary. Extra-marital affairs are responsible for the breakdown of most marriages. Anger and resentment are common underlying reasons for cheating, along with differences in sexual appetite and lack of emotional intimacy.
One of the main signs that a marriage is over is if the relationship leaves one constantly feeling emotionally and physically drained. Even without constant fighting, a relationship can still leave you feeling utterly depleted.
Unfortunately, most people wait until their marriage has broken down almost irretrievably before realising that it needs saving.
Couples often have only a vague idea of what divorce entails. The awful practicalities of a divorce produce no winners, only losers, especially when children are involved. Divorce often leaves one financially, emotionally and socially worse off. Sadly, many couples only realise this after an ugly, lengthy legal battle. Some couples put more effort into their divorce proceedings than they were ever willing to put into saving their marriage.
Most couples fall in love, become infatuated with each other and then decide to marry. Then life happens. Busy jobs and small kids often leave couples taking less care of each other and leaving them to grow apart. Couples never manage to create a unique space where they are equal partners and where there is room to grow together. Space where they can be both respectful friends and lovers. Young couples battle to create this space in the early years when they are still madly in love. When the pressures of normal life start escalating and the solid unique foundation is not there, the cracks start appearing.
However, when two individuals are willing to put their differences aside, there is up to an 80% chance of saving the marriage. A healthy, strong, enjoyable marriage is possible.
However, it is important to remember that forms of emotional abuse and any physical abuse should be immediate grounds for divorce.
Make an appointment with Philip du Toit today if you need help with your marriage.